the complications of things that last
by District12andbeyond
Summary: The story of Nico di Angelo and Will Solace.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hello my lovely readers, this is my first solangelo fanfiction. Gods they're so perfect...sorry. Anyways, it's in both of their POV's, but stays in third person. It sort of jumps around in time, but I don't think it's confusing. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

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Chapter 1:

Will was never an expert with not being able to save people. It was the worst thing that he ever felt. He could always feel the color vanish from his face. His legs start to buckle under him. Too late. That's what they always told him. There was always an ' _I'm so sorry'_ in there too. He never heard the whole story. He only felt his mind blank of hope and fill with _It's. All. My. Fault._ Usually, he didn't even know the person's name, but he knew that they could have lived a longer life if he had been there earlier. He could have saved them.

Too late.

I'm so sorry, Will.

Too late.

That was most of what Will got all night and into the next morning in the infirmary after Gaea's defeat. Two hundred and fifty-four. Two hundred and fifty-four demigods. Two hundred and fifty-four children. Two hundred and fifty-four gone. Just like that. That is, that they found. Will and the rest of the Apollo kids did everything they could, but it wasn't enough. There were too many wounded. Will hated wars for that reason.

He paced the infirmary. He was supposed to be on 'break,' but he was too _awake_ to even sit down without getting back up again. Then there was the Leo boy. everyone was talking about Leo. He had sacrificed himself for them. Will couldn't save him either. Will added _Leo Valdez_ to the list of names of people who died that night. He remembered the scrawny, funny, son of Hephaestus. Right after Leo had been claimed, Will took him for a tour of the camp. He never would have thought that he would have saved everyone by getting himself killed.

Will winced as he heard a sharp cry of pain from somewhere in the infirmary. He got up and ran over to the source, a girl from Athena had lost her leg from the knee down, she had brutal claws marks on her chest that had started to bleed again. From the expression on her face, she was trying to be brave, but the pain was worse then she could handle.

Will's youngest sister, Luciana, who had only arrived weeks ago was trying to feed her some ambrosia, but the daughter of Athena was only screaming in pain. Will relived his sister from her post and took the patient's hand. He began to sing a short verse to calm her down. Her face muscles instantly relaxed. Will took a breath and handed her the ambrosia.

"Here." He said, trying to sound soothing. "Take this. It'll help. I promise."

The girl looked like she wanted to retort something, but she just took the ambrosia. Will sighed in relief. The daughter of Athena relaxed even more, falling back into the cot, the bleeding subsiding.

Will could hear Luciana walk away. She was what, twelve? What a horrible first month to have at Camp Half-Blood. He placed his fingers on the daughter of Athena's neck and felt her pulse. It seemed sturdy enough.

Will buried his face in his hands.

He guessed his 'break' was over.

Will didn't remember falling asleep, but he definitely remembered his dream.

He was surrounded by bodies. They were covered in dirt and blood. He could hear them moan his name,

"Will…"

"Help...m...me…"

They clawed at the ground, pulling themselves towards him. Will started toward the closest one, but he couldn't move. He felt panic rise in him. He tried to make a sound, a

"I'm trying!" or maybe try to heal them with his voice, but no sound could form in his throat. The pannick quickened.

"Will…"

"Please…"

"I...hurt…"

"I'm….I…think I'm dying…"

"Will…"

Will tried to concentrate. He tried to will himself to slowly lift one foot. Then the next. The an arm. Then the other one. Then he could break this, whatever it was.

"Will."

If Will could have whipped around, he would have. That voice...he knew that voice. It belonged to a boy called Nico di Angelo.

Will wanted to ask Nico for help, to scream out his name.

He couldn't.

"Will."

 _Nico._ Will thought.

"Will help me."

Will could feel his heart beat quicken. _Nico. I can't move!_ Will thought hopelessly. _I really want to help you. I really do, but that's about as possible as me turning around and_ _kissing you._

Will hadn't meant to think that.

"Will please." Nico's voice broke. Will screamed in his head.

"Will…I…think I might be…dying…"

 _No! Don't go dying on me Deathboy!_

"Will…I…please, why…?"

 _Just hang in a little longer._

"...Will, why…won't you help me?"

If Will could have cried, he would have.

"WILL! HELP ME!"

 _Don't yell it will make it worse._

"WILL LOOK AT ME!"

 _Please, Deathboy, stop yelling._

"Can you hear me?"

 _Of course I can hear you._

"Don't feel special. It's nothing new. No one can hear me."

 _I can._

"What stupid last words." Will could hear Nico sigh and crumple to the ground.

 _Please._

"Not that with my luck I would get anything good."

 _Please, hold on. I'll get out of this! I'll save you, Deathboy. I can't let you die._

"Will?" Nico let out a yelp of pain. " _Will?_ _Please._ " His voice sounded like he was having people cut knifes on his arms as he spoke. " _This is so…"_ He screamed in agony. "STUPID!"

Will woke with start, his breath heavy, eyes wide.

 _Nico._

Will stood up, his heart beating in his ears. He steadied himself on the chair he had fallen asleep on. Will had, for the first time in a long time, pushed the Son of Hades to the back of his mind.

That lasted long.

Nico di Angelo was back in the spotlight of Will's thoughts. Will remembered the first time that he had really noticed him, in the battle of Manhattan. Nico was so young at the time, just a year behind him, but he had saved the world, what, twice now?

Will remembered how he fought in the battle of Manhattan, like he had been doing it his whole life. Then he had left the shadows for a while, people had talked with him, treated him like a friend.

That lasted long.

But Will had always thought about the son of Hades. Always wondered what he was doing. What he was thinking.

When Will was younger, when he still lived with his mother, before the incident, his mother had told him about that sort of thinking. His mother had always said, you'll get there, Will. There'll be a girl who you can't get out of your mind.

But that never happened to Will.

There was never a _girl._ He never couldn't stop thinking about _her._ There was no _her._

Then Will experienced his first _him. He_ was a son of Athena named Adam. Will was mesmerized by him, never able to pull his thoughts from him.

He felt a hand on his back, he wiped around.

Austin stood there, looking worried.

"Will, you okay?" He asked.

Will took a second to get words out of his mouth."Y..yeah." He pushed himself up. "I'm fine." Austin raised an eyebrow as if he doubted that Will was telling the truth. Will sighed and looked down.

"Will…"

"Just give me something to do." Will said, trying to stay calm. His head was still spinning, Nico's voice ringed in his ears. _Don't feel special. It's nothing new. No one can hear me. Will?_ _Please…_ Austin rolled his eyes.

"You're head counselor, Will. I was going to ask _you_ what _I_ could do." He said. Will's shoulders dropped.

"Right…right. Of course, is that son of Volcan doing any better?"

Austin shrugged. "I'll check."

"Okay." Will tried to sound confident. "Yeah, do that."

Austin nodded and walked away. Again, Will tried to steady his breathing. He felt for the daughter of Athena's pulse…normal enough. She was going to be okay. Most likely.

Will sighed and looked around. He hated all the pained faces, the missing limbs, the cries...but this was it. Will was _meant_ to do this. He _had_ to help them. He gritted his teeth and got to work.

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AN: sorry, not much solangelo in here, but it''ll come, don't worry. please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

(six weeks later)

The ceiling started to get blurry. Nico blinked fiercely, and cursed under his breath for crying.

Not that he could help it. The dreams had started to get worse. He visited everything now. All the battles he'd fought. Bianca. Bianca…he was retold of her death over and over in his sleeping state. All his time alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Then there was Tartarus. The blackness, the pain, the utter fear that had overtook him, engulfing him it it's storm clouds of pain and darkness…fear…

He sighed and rolled over on his side, pulling his knees into his chest. He tightened his whole body, tensing his shoulders, shutting his eyes, curling his toes, clenching his fists as if if he turned hard enough, he would just dissolve into the air and disappear… _who would miss me anyways?_ He growled.

He could feel the tears squeze out of his eyes, defying his begging.

Ever since Hazel had left five weeks ago, the cabin was just even more empty. More lonely. With Percy and Annabeth gone, there was only Leo, Jason and Piper left of the crew of the _Argo II._ There was also Calypso. She didn't exactly take to Nico much, though.

Then there was Will. Will. Will. Will. Nico could almost feel his face go red from thinking about the son of Apollo.

He cursed again, and pushed the blankets off of him, and stood up. He could still see Bianca pulling him around by his hand, that floppy green hat she always used to wear….Nico could feel the tears swell up inside of him, and clenched his hands and gritted his teeth. _Stop it._ He growled at himself.

He got dressed and tried to not to think. Not about the terrors that visited him at night. Not about Tartarus. Not about Bianca. Not about Will.

It didn't work very well. Nico wished memories could be something less constant. Maybe like a season, where he could be free of them for a time, instead of having to remember them every second of every day in a week, that made a month, which made a year, which made years. Year, after year, after year. But most of Nico's wishes were impossible.

He sighed. Why did he even care? _I'm a son of Hades._ He reminded himself. _I'm supposed to be like, what? Oh shut up. You know how you're supposed to be. Strong. Distant. Brave. The distant part I've got. That's about it, though. Oh, shut up. Just shut the fuck up. I don't want to think about I have to think about it, don't I? Purely because I don't want to._

Nico grabbed his jacket and pushed open the door to Cabin 13.

He ate alone at the Hades table. He was hungry, that he knew. He eat a fairly large breakfast, by Nico's standards, that is. His thoughts continued swarming him, surrounding him.

His eyes darted around, a natural habit. They stopped at the Apollo table. Will Solace grinned back at him…that amazing grin…how did he do that? _Stop, di Angelo,_ he growled in his head. Will waved at him, Nico could feel his face turn red. He ducked his head down, praying to his father that Will hadn't seen him blushing.

Nico cracked his fingers under the table. He felt something in his gut pulling him back around to stare at Will Solace. He refused to let it. Nico, instead, tried to make his thoughts drift to the capture the flag game that would be held that night…

That lasted long.

Nico's thoughts _never_ focused on one thing. Especially something as light as capture the flag. He remembered sitting up in the _Argo ||,_ the wind rustling his hair, stinging his face. The fall was far. _Jump. Just let everything stop. Let it all just end._ He remembered almost feeling himself falling from the ship, down, down, down. The wind wrapping around him. It would have been a quick death, almost painless…

He twisted his skull ring on his finger.

…but if he was dead, then the crew…he had to lead them to the House of Hades. He had to save Percy…they could find they could find it. They were resourceful. Anyways, would they really miss _him_?

Nico clenched his teeth. _They would care._ He tried to tell himself. _That was a long time ago. Months ago._ He clenched his fists, twisting his ring with his thumb.

 _Poor Nico di Angelo. Do you know what you want, much less what I want?_

 _I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest._

 _Tell him, Nico di Angelo. Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself…._

 _SHUT UP._

 _Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone._

 _I SAID SHUT UP._

Nico knew yelling at his memories wouldn't stop them. He brushed some hair behind his ear and looked over at the Zeus table. Sometimes Jason would sit with him, but Piper had snuck from the Aphrodite table. They were in the middle of a very long kiss, so Nico didn't watch long. He looked back at the Hades table.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

He twisted his ring some more, but that just made him think of Bianca. _Stop._ He told himself. _Something else…anything…_

"Nico!" His voice was so filled with energy, just like always. Nico turned around, Will Solace ran up to the table, grinning. Just like always. He plopped down right next to him. Nico could feel his heart jump into his mouth. _Stop._

"So," Will said, still grinning. _I wish I could be like that…but I'm the son of Hades. The Ghost King._ "Nico, about that capture the flag game, I was wondering if you wanted to be on my team? Apollo is going to be the blue team's captain tonight."

Nico almost choked.

"Ah…yeah…okay, Solace." He said, trying not to sound like an idiot. Will's smile widened, if that was even possible.

"Great!" Will said leaning up closer to him. Nico could feel his face heat up. His mind blanked and he inched back, putting the space between them back to how it used to be. Will looked right into Nico's eyes. Nico wanted to look away, but he couldn't. Will's eyes were too perfectly blue, with just a little… _stop._ The silence was getting awkward. Nico blinked and looked away. Will touched Nico's arm. His hand wa so warm…

"So, see you around, di Angelo." He said. Nico thought that something in his face looked sort of sad, but he couldn't place it. Will got up and left. Nico could still feel his arm tingle from Will's touch.

 _The nightmare had been bad._

 _Nico was shaking. He covered his face with hands and shook. Tears streamed down his face. Too much...it was all just too much. Nico could feel himself breaking, wanting the end…just let it all stop. No one. Alone. I'm always alone. Always. Bianca?…Nothing. She's not here. She'll never be here. Why did you have to grow up? Why? Why? Nothing. Nothing will ever last. Ever. Nothing._

" _Nico!" Will Solace's voice. "Nico. Please, stop." Will touched his arm. Warmth. "Nico. I'm right here." Will's hand moved up and down his arm. Nico didn't want Will there. He didn't want him to see him like that. But Will stayed. "Shhh. Nico. I'm not going anywhere."_

 _Will stayed._

Nico looked down. That had been what, six weeks ago, five? One of the days in the infirmary Nico had promised Will.

 _Will Solace. Why does he bother with me?_

Jason ran his fingers through Piper's hair. Her head was in his lap, and she was smiling up at him lovingly. Calypso was letting Leo sleep on her shoulder, every now and then she would look down at him, like she couldn't believe he was there. Nico sat alone, he wasn't even sure why he was there on the beach with them.

"I'm _still_ mad at him," Piper said, sitting up, glaring at Leo. Jason laughed.

"At least he came back," he said.

"But, _still..._ " Piper said, sounding annoyed. Jason shrugged.

"Yea, I am too." He said. Nico shifted, not sure of what to do. Leo stirred and fell off of Calypso's shoulder. She rolled her eyes and punched him playfully.

"Get up." She said. Leo sat up, tossing back his curly black hair.

"Good morning, Sunshine." He said to Calypso. She laughed softly and wrapped her arms around Leo's neck. Nico watched as they kissed eachother with so much ease it looked like they'd been doing it their whole lives. He sighed.

He wrapped his arms around his legs and looked down. He would never be able to do that.

I am so fucking alone.

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AN: moo ha ha I got to fit some Caleo in there... ;) So, anyways, if theres anything you want to hear about, please tell me!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: there's more solangelo in here, btw. Hope you enjoy!

Please review!

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Chapter 3:

Will drew circles on his hands. It was a thing he did sometimes when he had nothing else to do. Lou Ellen sat next to him, throwing a Mist tennis ball in the air. Will stopped. He couldn't get Nico di Angelo out of his mind…sometimes he would just see his face. He watched a smile tug on Nico's lips in the infirmary when Will would sit with him for his breaks. Sometimes Nico's name would just play in Will's head. Over and over and over and over and over… _Nico di Angelo._ _Nico di Angelo. Nico di Angelo. Nico di Angelo. Nico di Angelo. Nico di Angelo._ It was like a song that he never got tired of hearing. Then, sometimes he would imagine. He would sit with the son of Hades in cabin 7 when everyone else was gone. Will would put his hands on Nico's face and look into those dark, chocolaty eyes. Nico would wrap his legs around Will, then he would wrap his arms around Will's neck. Will would lean in, and the space between their lips was gone.

Will's face flushed bright red. He twitched his mouth and he kept drawing on his hand. Will could still feel his hand tingle from touching Nico's arm. He knew Nico liked it. He also knew that the Son of Hades would never admit it, even if he did.

He didn't care.

"Will, you have that _face_ again." Lou Ellen's voice seemed to come from nowhere. Will turned, she was grinning so wide, she looked like she was going burst. Will blushed even more and smiled softly.

"Will?" Lou Ellen was trying not to laugh, Will could tell. He sighed.

"Yes?"

"That face. You have your _I'm so in love_ face on." She said, being a bit over-dramatic on the _I'm so in love_ part. Will rolled his eyes.

"So what if I do?" he said. Lou Ellen laughed like he was crazy. _I am crazy._ Will thought, his smile growing. _Crazy for Nico di Angelo._ He almost squealed.

"Come on, Lover Boy." Lou Ellen said getting up. "It's time for dinner." Will got up after her.

Nico sat alone, just like always. He didn't really have much of a choice, saying that he was the only child of Hades. Will stared at him. He bet that Nico's hands would fit well in his. They would be small and good for rubbing with his thumb. Nico's back was to Will, so he couldn't see his face, but he knew Nico was scowling. That frown that made Will want to walk up to him and wrap his arms around his hips…

" _Wi-ill_." Lucianna winded, snapping Will out of Nico-land.

"Uh…yeah?" He tried to sound normal, he didn't think he was doing a good job at it.

"Will why do you keep looking at the Hades table?" She asked. Will could feel his face heat up. Some of his cabin mates laughed softly. They all looked at Will, smiling. Will could feel his heart in his throat. He folded his hands.

"I…ah…" He looked back over at Nico, not able to help himself.

"What's so interesting?" Lucianna pleaded, bouncing in her seat. Everyone laughed. Will scratched the back of his neck. He couldn't just say _Nico di Angelo. What else? He's beautiful,_ right? Will considered it. He decided not to.

"Ah…" He stammered. Lucianna pouted. Everyone else giggled. Will rolled his eyes. "You'll get it when you're older." Will got out, then added "Well, to some degree." Lucianna crossed her arms.

"I'm eight. That's old enough." She said. Will rolled his eyes.

"Well, you see that boy over there?" Will pointed at Nico. Lucianna nodded. "I was looking at him."

"He's really good at sword fighting." She said. "He's also _boring._ " Will rolled his eyes again.

"He's not that boring." He said, trying not to sound too dreamy. His cabin mates snickered.

"He never talks to _anyone_ except to maybe that boy." She said pointing at Jason. Will felt a pang of jealously. _There's nothing going on between them,_ Will told himself.

"Will talks to him." A girl named Laura said, smiling evilly. Will blushed even redder. " _And_ he sometimes talks back." She said, laughing.

"What's so funny?" Lucianna asked. Everyone looked at Will.

"He's in _love_." Austin whispered. Will shot him glare. Lucianna looked even more confused.

"With a boy?" She asked.

"That can happen!" Will said defensively. Lucianna's eyes widened.

"It _can_?" She asked. Will nodded. She looked around, as if to see if anyone was looking, the she leaned across the table and whispered in Will's ear. " _Can you_ kiss _a boy?"_ She asked. Will blushed even redder. He shifted and whispered into Lucianna's ear.

" _Yep."_

Lucianna's mouth dropped, " _Really?_ " She asked.

"What?" Laura asked excitedly.

"Kiss him!" Lucianna yelped excitedly. Will blushed even more. Everyone laughed even harder. Will leaned across the table and whispered into Luciana's ear.

"But the fact that I have a crush on Nico is a secret, okay? Only my best friends and my cabin knows."

Lucianna nodded. She put her finger to her lips.

"Shhh." She said. Will nodded.

"Shhh." Will said.

Lucianna smiled shyly. Will sighed and kept eating his food. He remembered the first time he told Lou Ellen and Cecil he was gay. They had just laughed and highfived.

"I knew it!" Lou Ellen had said.

Will had smiled and said,"Really? Was it that obvious?"

They all smiled. Most of his cabin mates had guessed to0, asked him, or heard from eachother.

This, though. For some reason, he felt like he had gone way too far…like he had told the whole world. He took out his pen and drew some circles on his hand. He was tempted to make the circles the ' _o_ ' in ' _Nico,'_ but decided against it. He smiled and got up to wash his hand.

"Red picks first tonight!" Chiron said. Leo grinned. He rubbed his hands together.

"Hermes." He said. Cecil shot Will a ' _sorry?'_ look, then he shrugged and grinned, like ' _well, maybe not.'_ Nico shifted on his feet. Will Solace stepped forward for the blue team.

"Hades." He said, grinning at Nico. Nico felt a lump in his throat. He gulped it down, and stepped next to the Apollo campers. Leo looked over the campers.

"Zeus." Jason stepped next to Leo, high-fiving him. Will smiled.

"Hecate." The Hecate cabin walked over to Nico, Will and the rest of the Apollo cabin. Lou Ellen exchanged a _we are going to kick butt_ look with Will.

"Nike." Leo said.

"Athena."

"Demeter."

"Hypnos."

"Aphrodite."

"Ares."

"Nemesis?"

"Iris."

"Then, ah, Hebe."

"Tyche."

Will and Leo stepped back. Nico found himself staring at Will. The lump in his throat got bigger.

 _Will Solace. Will Solace. Will Solace chose me. Before everyone else…why the Hades would he do that?_

Chiron began to go over the rules. Nico just tried to not look at Will. He turned his ring and looked down.

 _I…that's a big promise, Nico, on a trip like this. Besides, she's got Zoe, Grover, and Thalia__

 _Promise._

 _I'll do my best. I promise that._

 _I promise that._

 _I promise._

 _I promise._

 _STOP._

 _I promise._

 _I promise._

 _Shut the fuck up._

Nico clenched his jaw. Chiron smiled.

"Let the game start!"

Nico ran with the rest of the blue team though the forest.

 _Nico, I tried. But Bianca gave herself up to save the rest of us. I told not to. But she__

 _Nico, I tried._

 _Nico, I tried._

 _Nico,_

 _Nico,_

 _I tried._

 _STOP._

 _Nico, I tried._

The blue team came to a stop. They were in a seemingly random place in the forest, nowhere special. Malcolm, from the Athena cabin stepped forward.

"Here," He said. "it'll be well concealed by the leaves, and it looks easy to get to, our defence can hide in the tree line, and can surprise the red team's offense. They'll think we put it somewhere more significant."

Will smiled. "Perfect." He said. "Malcolm, take the Athena cabin, Conner and Travis, take Hemes, and find the flag. Apollo can wait in the tree line all around, scattered. Hypnos, put people to sleep. Hecate, dictations. The rest of you, cause distractions, and capture the flag. I'll take defence with Nico."

Nico could feel himself blush, he was glad the sky was dark so no one would notice. Nico noticed Malcolm made a face at Will's loose plan, as he lead the Athena cabin in the other direction.

Soon, all the cabins had gone.

 _I'm standing here in the forest all alone. With Will Solace._ Nico could feel himself blush even more. He felt like someone had plugged an electrical cord into his back.

"So…" Will's voice broke the silence.

"Shut up, Solace. You'll give us away." Nico regretted saying it as soon as he did. _Why does he even bother talking to me?_

"Mm hm," Will didn't sound like he cared about the game very much. He turned around, his hands on his hips, smile extending, eyes shining. Nico wanted to say something, but he couldn't form any words. He felt like there was a rope pulling at his chest, dragging him towards Will…he blinked, and cut the rope.

"Solace, I thought you were supposed to be guarding." Nico said, trying to sound like himself. Will laughed made a face.

"Yea. I know." He said. Nico looked down, trying to avoid Will's eyes. Will laughed. "Are you like blind or something?" He asked. Nico felt his heart tighten. _Here we go…_

"I think you would know if I was blind, Solace." Nico growled. Will spluttered.

"Can't you tell?" He asked.

"Stop toying with me, Solace."

"You mean no one has ever flirted with you before?"

Nico almost fell face first into the dirt. His heart lurched. _Must have heard that wrong. No. No, he didn't mean it that way…could he? No. Of course not._ Nico could hear Will laugh.

"I guess not, huh?" Nico could hear the smile on Will's lips. He wanted to look up at him, but he couldn't. _I'm dreaming._ "Well, maybe you just never noticed." Will seemed to ponder this. "Anyways, as I was saying…" He leaned down, so he was face to face with Nico. "Is that okay with you?" He asked softly.

Nico felt like someone had wrapped their fingers around his heart and squeezed it hard. A part of him felt like throwing up. Another part of him felt like wrapping his arms around Will's neck and kissing him, one part wanted to run away. They screamed at eachother behind Nico's eyes. He felt light, like he was in a dream, like part of him wasn't there. He looked into Will's shining sea eyes, and felt like fireworks were going off in his head.

He nodded.

After that, Nico really thought he was dreaming. Will shut his eyes, he tilted his head slightly to the side and placed his lips gently on Nico's.

Whoever was squeezing on his heart squeezed harder. Nico wanted to close his eyes too, but he was worried it would all disappear. For those few seconds, Nico wanted time to freeze so that he could be there forever, living those thoughts, those tingles, those tugging sensations to kiss Will back, the way the wind brushed the back of his neck and ran through his flexed fingers. The way that for once, everything was perfect.

Then it was over. Will pulled back, standing up straight and turning away, like nothing ever happened.

And the Ghost King stood completely still, letting his mind explode.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-

(the next day)

Will sat down next to Nico at the sword training area. Nico looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, and looked down. Will twiddled his thumbs. He watched as Nico pulled a washcloth along the blade of his midnight black sword. Nico set his jaw and kept working. Will didn't notice much of a difference on the black surface of Nico's sword. He crossed his legs and turned so he could watch Nico better.

Nico didn't seem to notice.

Worry flashed through Will's mind, but he ignored it. Nico had said it was okay if Will liked him. He hadn't slapped him across the face when he kissed him, like Will thought he would. He hadn't exactly kissed him back, but Will could tell Nico liked it, even if he didn't show it. So, Will wasn't finished. Will pushed himself off the ledge he and Nico were sitting on. He sat down on the floor under Nico and lay down so he was looking up at Nico. Nico's eyes widened, and his shoulders jolted up. The washcloth he was using fell into Will's face.

"Solace!" Nico shouted. Will pulled the washcloth off his face and looked up at Nico. Nico stood up and stalked around the room, like he was looking for something. Will rubbed his head and sat up. He placed the washcloth on the ledge and watched Nico storm around the room.

"Solace, do you have a washcloth?" Nico asked, not bothering to stop. Will didn't. He racked his brain for a washcloth. He looked down, then smiled.

"You can use my shirt if you want, Nico." He said standing up. Nico's face paled.

"Uh…no. Anything else?" He said shakily. Will grinned.

"No, it's fine." He pulled off his shirt, shaking his hair. "I don't mind if it gets dirty." Nico's eyes widened, and blush creeped onto his cheeks. Will walked closer to him, Nico seemed to shrink the closer he came. Will took his hand and handed him the orange shirt. Nico pulled loose from Will's grasp and took the shirt. Will couldn't notice that Nico's eyes darted to his bare chest and his blush deepened. Nico seemed to notice he was staring, and quickly went back to the ledge. Will turned and watched as Nico sprinkled some liquid onto his sword and used Will's shirt to scrub the black blade, a tight expression on his face.

Will knew this was going to take a long time.

He didn't care.

He went and sat down next to Nico. Will stared at Nico's face, his dark eyes seemed like black holes from far away, but now, when Will looked at them, he could see each line. Nico's eyes looked like a kaleidoscope. Most people had eyes with just _lines_ going out from the pupil, but Nico's eyes were much more complex, like a chain. Will could see that there was something behind them, people sometimes say that eyes are the entrance to your soul, after watching Nico's eyes, Will could almost see pain spilling out of them, suppressed screams, demons.

"Nico?" He asked. Nico stopped. "Are you okay?" Will cursed his bad wording, but kept going. Nico slowly turned at looked at Will.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, defensively. Will tried to look deeper into Nico's eyes.

"You look upset." Will said. Nico laughed.

"Well, that's new," he said. He stood his sword up next to him and handed Will his shirt. "I'm done. Thank you." Will wanted to kiss Nico again, but he resisted it.

"Anytime!" he said, grinning. Nico looked like he wanted to smile too for a second, but he didn't. "And, Nico, if you ever want to talk, I'll always be here." Will said. Nico blinked a few times and looked away.

They sat in silence for a bit. Nico turned back away, but Will couldn't help still looking at him. There was something about him-not just one thing. It wasn't something he could name like the color of his hair, something that Will just _had_ to look at. Nico's eyes darted to the side, looking at Will, then darted back.

Will could feel himself blush. He didn't really care, Nico already knew that he liked him, obviously. He wouldn't let this turn into melted snow.

"Nico, about last night…"

"I can't, Will. Sorry." Nico said quickly and he stood up. He looked into Will's eyes for a fraction of a second and shadow travelled away. Will blinked. _That wasn't supposed to happen…_ he thought, but knew this wouldn't be like other relationships. _He really needs to stop that…it can't be good for him, he has to know that. I wonder if he cares. He better. He will, when I'm done with him._ Will stood up and followed Nico.

…

He found him in the Hades cabin. He was alone, his knees pulled into his chest, hair covering his eyes. Will closed the door behind him.

"Nico…" he whispered. Nico looked away.

"Nobody's ever followed me here before." He whispered. "Get out, Will." Will could feel his heart beating in his ears, he walked over to Nico the calmest he could.

"Did you just call me Will?' He smiled. Nico blew some hair out of his eyes, Will could see a few tear streaks on his face. His heart tightened in his chest. He sat down next to him.

"Go away, Solace." Nico growled. Will looked firmly into Nico's eyes.

"No." He said as strongly as he could.

Nico rolled his eyes. "You'll stop, don't worry," he said. "They all do, eventually. One way or another." Will scoffed, he let his instincts take over.

"Nico, if you don't _let_ them, of course they won't." He said. "And, yes, you're right, one way or another, everything comes to an end. Nothing ever lasts forever, but some things can last for a long time, and even if they don't last long enough, they still last. Things leave impressions, they change people. Yea, sometimes it's not a good change, but it still happened. Let something else change you." Nico looked like he was going to burst into tears any second, but Will knew he was holding back, he wouldn't. "I like you, Nico di Angelo. I really do, but you just…you don't…you…" Will could feel his insides tighten.

Nico looked at Will, a expression of longing in his dark eyes."You just really don't get it," he said. "Will, I'm the last thing you need. You spend your day with your patients, right? You don't need something else to worry about. That's all I'll do, I'll make you worry, and I'll make you angry."

"Your screaming, Nico! I can't just ignore that." Will said firmly. Nico knit his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about, Solace?" He asked.

"You want help, Nico, I can tell. Yea, you've got a lot of demons and shit, but Nico, everyone does to a degree." Nico just laughed.

"Not like me," he said. "Not like me." Will took a breath.

"When I was nine, my mother was murdered by a gorgon." He said. "I ran away from home for three weeks before a satyr found me. Those were the worst weeks of my life. My best friend Yolanda died in the battle of Manhattan. I trusted her with everything I had." He said. Nico's eyes swept across Will's face.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked.

Will lowered his chin."Because I want you to know that I sort of understand." He said. "I'm not just happy all the time." He whispered the last part. Nico raised his eyebrows. Will swallowed. Who was the last person he'd told Yolanda about? No one. Cecil, Lou Ellen, and him where her best friends, who else would he tell her about? But that wasn't the worst question hammering behind his forehead. _Should I really trust Nico di Angelo with her? She's a person, not just words to throw around…to tell your crush about._ Something wanted to tell Will that Nico was more then just 'his crush,' that he was a boy who _needed_ , him that…Will blocked it out.

"Oh." Nico said after a while.

Will pushed his lips together. "Yea…"

"Hm."

Will had a pounding urge to kiss him again…he found Nico's hand with his and let his fingers wrap around Nico's.

Will was right, Nico's hand _was_ perfect for drawing circles on.

Nico didn't object.

AN: if you guys have any suggestions, the i need them! i'm having writer's block, and i need help! please help. thanks


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-

(that night)

Nico knew that Will would give up eventually, but he hadn't. If Nico was in Will's place, he would have given up already, and he was fairly certain everyone else that he knew would have as well. He couldn't blame them, really.

But Will didn't.

Nico could still feel his thumb draw circles on the back of his hand…but like Will said, nothing lasts, ever.

 _When I was nine, my mother was murdered by a gorgon." He said. "I ran away from home for three weeks before a satyr found me. Those were the worst weeks of my life. My best friend Yolanda died in the battle of Manhattan. I trusted her with everything I had._

Nico had never thought about Will's past. It had never occurred to him that _Will Solace_ had had a even minorly dark past. Even if he was a demigod.

Nico pulled his knees into his chest. Percy and Annabeth had taken his secret to New Rome with them. Nico told himself that not telling anyone was safe, but he didn't feel safe at all. So he just told them. He had to admit that it had made him feel…lighter… but that didn't make any sense.

 _It makes perfect sense._ That was Jason's voice. _It makes perfect sense._

Nico looked down. _Does it? If Will actually thinks that I have some sort of-chance with him-how could someone possibly think that? Who would want to? Gods, stop._

He let go of his legs and fell back into his bed. He fingered Will's shirt. Right before he had left, Will had thrown it to him.

 _I can get another one if I want._ He had said. _Keep it._

Nico felt his lips tug into a smile. He pushed them together. _Stop._ He pulled the shirt to his chest and shut his eyes. _This is really stupid. Ah…what time is it?_

He looked at his watch. 3:45.

 _Shit._

Nico rolled over and shut his eyes.

…

Nico awoke to the sound of a scream so filled with terror, it seemed to be the last scream that would fall from the person's mouth. He jolted up out of bed, cold sweat beaded his forehead. His hands were shaking. He looked around for the person who had screamed.

Then, with a shiver up his spine, he realized it was him. Nico's throat felt like he had been screaming all night. His hair fell all over his face. He sighed and pulled his hands to his face, rubbing his skin until they found his ears. He tried not to whimper.

 _Promise._

 _I'll do my best. I promise that._

 _I promise that._

 _I promise._

 _I promise._

 _Oh, Gods, stop._

 _It's never going to stop. Constant. Constant…_

 _I promise._

Nico pulled his hands from his ears and tightened his jaw. There was nothing he could do.

He got dressed and stormed out of Cabin 13.

"Hey Nico." Jason smiled, sitting next to him. Nico nodded a hello.

"I was just over by the Apollo cabin this morning," Jason's face looked like if he Nico felt his face go red. The fingers wrapped tighter around Nico's heart. Jason raised his eyebrows. "Sooo, there _is_ something going on between you and…"

"No." Nico said, a bit too quickly. He twisted his ring with his thumb. "No, there's nothing going on." Jason smirked.

"You know Will's gay, right?" Jason asked. _No shit,_ Nico thought. Jason laughed. "And he's perfect for you…" Nico's hand tightened around around his glass, he felt like a thousand claws were trying to rip open his chest. His mind was completely empty besides the virus taking all of his cells under control that was embarrassment.

"Jason." He growled. "Stop."

Jason laughed again. Nico couldn't help but be jealous of the seemingly naturalness of Jason's laugh. It was as if he didn't even have to try, he didn't have to think _this would be a good time to laugh._ He just _knew._ Something crossed Nico's mind about Jason laughing at him, but he tried to ignore it. It dug deeper into Nico's thoughts, begging to be heard.

Nico twisted his ring.

Jason grinned even wider. "Whatever you say." He said, even though it came out as more of an excited squeal. "I can't wait to tell…" Worry broke on Nico's thoughts.

"Jason." He said as calmly as possible. "Please don't tell anyone."

Jason turned and looked Nico in the eye. He adjusted his glasses on his nose. "Okay, Nico. I won't tell." There was a certain sincerity to Jason's tone. Like he understood-not just took in the words- and said okay. He really meant it. They sat in silent solitude, a silence that seemed to wrap around Nico's shoulders and whisper into his ears: " _It's safe."_ Jason probably thought it was awkward, like anyone normal would.

Claws ripped at Nico's chest, he pushed his lips together.

"Jason, how did you know?" His voice forced it's way out of Nico's throat in the wrong way. His voice sounded like someone was pushing a metal rod onto his neck. Jason shrugged, he looked straight ahead, not seeming to take in that he was supposed to look at someone when you talked to them.

"Will asked me if I thought you were ready to be in a romantic relationship." Jason said. The rod buried deeper into Nico's neck.

"I told him I thought you _could be_. But I needed your opinion to be sure." Jason intertwined his fingers and cracked them. Nico looked down.

"Jason, why did you just tell me that?" His voice seemed to slip from Nico's lips and into the air and sit there and wait for a while.

"Why not? And I wanted you to know that Will really cares about you, Nico. Don't mess this up." Jason turned to him, smiling. Nico's rod shoved into his neck, enabling him to speak. He felt blush slowly creep onto his cheeks.

"I…I…ah…"

Jason looked hard into Nico's eyes. "Nico, don't."

…

Nico shut his eyes. No tears streamed down his face. No whimper was whispered into the darkness.

But Nico was crying.

Sometimes when people described sadness, they said _there is nothing inside._ But the nothingness dwelling inside of Nico was filled with the slashes of memories, the never-ending drumbeat of _alone alone alone,_ the pure emptiness was the thickest thing that had ever filled his body. Inside of him, Nico was crying.

Will's shirt lay across Nico's chest.

 _Ready. Am I ready. Gods, am I? I want you know that Will really cares about you. Will really cares about you. Right. Who would care about me? They might act like they do…they might…Don't mess this up. Of course I'll mess this up. I already have messed this up. I'm never going to ever get anything at least one bir right. Gods, I hate myself so fucking much. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself._ Nico shut his eyes. He wanted to scream. He clenched his fists. _I hate myself. I hate myself. Arrggghhhh._ He dug his fingers into his hands. He pushed his blankets off and stood up. The shadows closed in on him, locking him in his own cage. His breath fell heavy. _I'm such a fucking idiot. Will. Will why do you bother with me? I'm just a sniveling, stupid, gods, I hate myself. I don't even…_

He shut his eyes and tilted his head back, letting out a sigh. Something inside him cracked even more. He lowered his head. He was a broken. He was nothing. A whisp of…

His feet moved towards the weapon cabinet. He was empty. A blur. His fingers forced it open, wrapping around a tiny silver knife. He was…

He sat down on his bed. Then knife tight in his fingers. His thoughts, his _what am I thinkings,_ his, _what the fuck am I doings,_ his everything faded into one never ending drumbeat of _I hate myself._

His hand was shaking slightly as he put the blade to his wrist. His eyes stung. His stomach collapsed on itself. But he didn't feel remorse. _I deserve this. I'm a monster. I'm…I'm…_ One. _I'm just a stupid broken…_ Two. _I hate myself._ Three. _I…I…_ His lips broke apart. His eyes could hold no longer. Tears streamed from his his eyes, releasing nothing. Whimpers fell from his mouth. He cried. He cried. The knife dropped to the floor. He felt the blood trickle to his leg. His eyes were crying, so where his cuts. He doubled over. Everything was nothing. Okay was filled with broken. Forever was over with an f and a extra r and e. This was all he was. _This…Nothing. Nothing._ _Alone. Alone. Alone._

He looked up at one point, he looked into the darkness, his faults, his demons, he looked up and he whispered into it all. He whispered,

"Will…"

AN: to all the kids out there that cut: i have come very close to cutting myself. i know you hate yourself. i know you _know_ no one cares. that feeling fucking sucks. it really does. i just want you all to know, that is not the only option. i know you think it is, i know you think you deserve it, and i know you think you don't just _think,_ but this is a huge world. I want you to think of this, there are seven billion people out there, yes, plenty of people aren't going to care about you, but someone, at least someone in all those people will. and one day, if you embrace hope, you will be happy again.

Anyways, so, guys, I'm really sorry for the late updates. I'm really busy and i hope you forgive me.

-piper


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